linux - Redirect all http & https requests with lighttpd

I have a spare Raspberry Pi so I decided to check out PirateBox.

I have it all working however the default behaviour is to not redirect https requests. Given the PirateBox will be never connected to the Internet and people connecting most likely won't know the address to request, I would like to redirect all requests (http & https) to the PirateBox Uri, piratebox.lan

I would like to set it up to be similar to a captive portal but I don't need authentication and the requests will always be redirected

PirateBox uses Arch Linux with dnsmasq and lighttpd.
My current setting are

/etc/dnsmasq.conf

address=/#/192.168.77.1

/opt/piratebox/conf/lighttpd/lighttpd.conf

$HTTP["host"] !~ "^piratebox\.lan.*$" {
        url.redirect = ( "^/(.*)$" => "http://piratebox.lan/redirect.html" )
}

$SERVER["socket"] == ":443" {
        $HTTP["host"] !~ "^piratebox\.lan.*$" {
                url.redirect = ( "^/(.*)$" => "http://piratebox.lan/redirect.html" )
        }

}

$SERVER["socket"] == ":80" {
        $HTTP["host"] !~ "^piratebox\.lan.*$" {
                url.redirect = ( "^/(.*)$" => "http://piratebox.lan/redirect.html")
        }
}

While all http requests are redirected to the PirateBox page, https requests aren't redirected and the PirateBox page isn't loaded, it just times out.

What am I doing wrong or should I approach this is a different way?

Update
I have also tried

$HTTP["scheme"] == "https" {
        url.redirect = ( "^/(.*)$" => "http://piratebox.lan/redirect.html" )
}

and it doesn't work either